I found the recursive use of the language in this free write working quite well for a beginning draft, though I would suggest that repetition should be used with reserve so as not to let it completely control the content of future drafts. A way to approach a revision of this draft would be to pull and expand from interesting images and then, perhaps, apply the repetition to those images in a subtle manner, which I find to be a useful practice. Sometimes with a draft such as this, you look at each repetition and pull from what draws the most interest. You may find just that one phrase or utterance works the most efficiently in which case you do this exercise again with perhaps a similar triggering subject until you’ve constructed enough interesting language to start thinking about a more concrete poem.
While the mind sleeps atop cushions a soldier mingles
across a bar. The bars across his uniform
spawn from screaming , so says the media.
A soldiering mind searching for cushions, for sleep
to bar the truth. Yet the truth does not matter
for those screaming, searching for what matters.
They all sleep. In a spawning ground
for mediated minds. And
their screams become mingled, the truth
barred from media, screaming cushioned lies
to uniformed minds
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